Category Archives: Family History

Questions For Grace

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Questions for Grace

I’ve added a new page at the top titled, Questions for Grace. I invite you to bring any questions you have regarding her story, advice or thoughts.  Life speeds by so fast we rarely have the time to sit and talk with our elders about things which matter most. How I wish I had done this with Grace while she was still alive, but I was only 19.

Who in your life could answer questions about your family’s history? Even if you’re not interested now, you probably will be some day. Don’t neglect the opportunity you have today to sit and chat about the past. There is great wisdom to glean from our elders, but they won’t share it with us unless we ask them good questions. Maybe your elders are all gone, and you’ve no one left to ask. Well, make sure you leave answers for those coming behind you. Use the questions provided at the back of my book to write in your own journal your story. There could be no greater gift than this.

What questions would you ask Grace today?

A Rut Can Be A Good Thing

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I have always loved maps. Maps help you see where you are from a different perspective, and they help you get to where you want to go. Traveling without a map would be unheard of, unless you are familiar with the layout of the land.

In Grace’s day, maps weren’t readily available to the common traveler. Instead, they followed ruts in the ground using a compass to make sure they were heading in the right direction. The ruts were well-worn paths that were a good thing. It showed many people had traveled that way and they most-likely led to the next town.

The map above shows what Oklahoma territory looked like in 1905.

You can see Noble County, where Ceres (pronounced like the store–Sears) is located, as well as the Creek Nation, where Jenks is located (marked with a yellow arrow). Both towns are where my book takes place. How Grace would have loved to have had a map like this when she discovered she would be leaving everything that was familiar to her in Oklahoma Territory for her new life in Indian Territory. But she didn’t. She had to rely on the advice of those who had traveled that way before, and it was frightening.

How often we are forced to depend on the advice of those who have gone before us as we face a new normal. The Bible provides an excellent map for Christians to follow day in and day out, and the wisdom there is not a well-worn path, but a proven guide that is not limited by the time in which it was written. Maps expire. GPS systems are practically obsolete from the moment an update is finished. Time marches on and marks are made along the way. Only those who are looking for guidance find the help they need.

What are the well-worn paths in your life that you can’t do without? What paths would be best to leave behind to pursue a new way?

 

 

Taking Notes

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My Beautiful Mom

My Beautiful Mom

In case you are wondering where I’ve been the past couple of weeks – my mom has terminal cancer. We found out a week and a half ago, and life hasn’t been the same since.

My days are spent at her house with my sister and brother caring for her every need. We sit and talk while she listens because talking wears her out. Sometimes she chimes in and shares a story I know I don’t want to forget. If you recall in my book I’ve mentioned my mom saying,

“Every time someone dies a library of information dies with them, unless some one takes the time to write their story down.”

This is why I’m taking notes…lots of notes. I don’t want to forget these precious stories. She helped me research Through The Eyes of Grace. What a blessing it was to take three separate trips with her to Oklahoma over the past decade. We made memories I will cherish for the rest of my life. Writing my next book will be easier because I know how the process works, but it will be harder because I won’t have her to help me. God help me face the future with faith, not fear.

We’ve been blessed to have family near and far come to visit. She is deeply loved by all who know her. Most days she doesn’t remember her diagnosis and is hopeful she’ll soon be well. But barring a miracle, we realize her days with us are few.

We are sad.

We cry a lot.

We hug a lot.

And we pray a lot.

I just wanted to take a moment for you to know why I’ve been silent–I’m busy taking notes.

We’ve Always Done It That Way

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I was visiting my mom today. 🙂 We were talking about strange traditions, and I remembered a story I once heard. It went something like this:

One day a Mother was showing her daughter how to make roast beef. As she prepared the meat she cut it in half and placed it in the roasting pan. The daughter asked her why she cut the roast in half, to which she replied, “I don’t know. This is how my Mama did it.”

The next day the daughter asked her grandmother why she cut her roasts in half before cooking them, to which she replied, “I don’t know. This is how my Mama did it.”

The following day the daughter visited her great-grandmother who was living in a nursing home. She curiously asked why she used to cut her roasts in half before cooking it, to which her great-grandmother replied, “Oh, land sakes, it was because my wood stove was too small for the roast to fit whole. I had to cut it in half to have have enough to feed the family.”

My Mom laughed out loud when I told her this story. How many times are traditions created out of necessity? What starts out as a need quickly becomes a preference handed down from generation to generation.

Do you have any traditions that seem strange to you? Have you ever asked how they originated? You may be surprised to hear the story. You never know until you A.S.K.

Big Mama’s Chili

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I’ll never forget the time 34 years ago when I was making plans to go visit my fiance’, Tom, for the weekend. He lived 2 1/2 hours away before cell phones or e-mail. We relied on land line phone calls to communicate with each other and it wasn’t cheap. We also wrote letters–lots of letters to each other.

As I was packing, my grandmother whom we affectionately called Big Mama, let me know she was making Tom her homemade chili. She wanted to make sure I didn’t forget to take a quart to him. Somehow in the four months Tom and I had been dating he managed to win her heart. She loved Tom, and she showed her affection for him by doing what she did best–cooking for him.

We didn’t know then that it would be our last Fall with her for she died the following June, only four months after our wedding.

Tonight I made Big Mama’s Chili for the first time this Fall.

It was delicious as usual. Somehow having her story, Through The Eyes Of Grace, read by friends, family and those whom I’ve never met makes this year’s chili even more special. I loved her chili then, and I still do, but I love the heart she had for Tom and me even more. Our love is richer because of her blessing. Now I’m the one who shows my affection for Tom by cooking for him, and I’ve loved doing it for 34 years. 🙂

If you would like to try her recipe, you can find it under the Through The Eyes Of Grace tab above. I hope you’ll like it as much as we do.

Do you have special family recipes that have been handed down to you in a special way? Won’t you share the story and the recipe with us?

The Scents of Familiarity

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When I walked into the old house I was greeted with the warmth of familiarity, yet I had never been here before. This was my second visit to Oklahoma to continue research and actually begin writing the book I had talked about for years. I knew the title and the concept, but I had yet to meet my grandmother as my peer.

I was in for the journey of my life!

As I sat in the upstairs bedroom overlooking the landscape the locals called Turkey Mountain, I began writing. This would not be easy, but I was compelled to do something beyond my own ability. I felt God’s help to capture this story for my own family’s benefit as well as those who were yet to be born.

What special places in your family evoke sweet memories? Why?

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Mimeograph Memories

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I am so close to publishing my book I can smell the ink on the page. I remember as a child loving the smell of mimeograph work sheets at my elementary school. It’s sad to think children today will never know what I’m talking about. This leads me to the reason I’ve written my grandmother’s story. For as long as I can remember, my mom has shared much of it with me, with all of our family. By God’s grace I’ve finally captured it in written form and will soon be able to share it with you.

My mom is a great historian. She has worked tirelessly for years on our family genealogy.  In fact, she’s currently working on the timeline for the sequel to Through The Eyes Of Grace. She is an amazing inspiration to me, and one of the main reasons I’ve been compelled to share this story with you. If it weren’t for her I would have nothing to share. Like the forgotten smell of ink on white paper.

What stories are in your family of which you’ve yet to hear? It is your story and deserves to be handed down to the next generation. Do you have someone in your family like my mom? Someone who is documenting your amazing history? If not, let my book help you become your family’s historian. I’ve provided a Family Questionnaire at the back of the book to help you ask good questions of your elders before it’s too late.

Here are a few of the over 50 questions provided:

  • What is your earliest memory?
  • Where did you grow up? Did you have a house? An Apartment?
  • What kinds of toys did you like to play with?
  • What do you remember most about your family’s traditions?
  • How did your parents meet?

Officially Yours

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It has been mine for the past 25 years. Ten  years ago I began the process of making it yours, and in the Fall of 2012 it will be official – officially yours that is.

I have prayed, cried, and labored over this project. I have gone from being a novice writer to a full-time writer of a blog, our neighborhood newsletter, and my own journals. The project of which I speak is my first novel titled, Through The Eyes Of Grace, and is based on the life of my grandmother. The story takes place in Oklahoma just after the turn of the 20th century. Oklahoma was called Indian Territory then, and is still home to hundreds of Native Americans today. I didn’t know her story until after she died when I was 19. I was her youngest grandchild, and how I wished I could have heard these stories from her first-hand. What lessons I could have learned from her, but at 19 I was too young to appreciate the value of asking good questions.

My Mom was her youngest daughter. Of my grandmother’s six children she outlived all of them except for her. My hope is that her story will compel you to ask good questions of your own parents and/or grandparents. My Mom says that every time someone dies a library of information is buried with them. Sadly, this is true. Unless we ask and remember their stories will be gone in one or two generations. What a gift to know those stories and pass them onto your children and grandchildren.

I’ve provided at the back of the book a list of great questions to help you get started in discovering your own family history. We all have a story, but we may not know all the details. My prayer is that you will not only enjoy reading my book, but that you will find yourself drawn to talk to loved ones about it.

Through The Eyes Of Grace is my gift to you.

If you are interested in reserving a copy of my book, simply sign up to receive my blog posts by e-mail (see right column). This will guarantee you’ll be one of the firsts to hear of it’s release. 

Blessings to you and yours,

Debi