Category Archives: Family History

A Slice Of [Mom’s] Life

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Photo Credit: www.bbc.co.uk

Photo Credit: http://www.bbc.co.uk

Today I want to share with you an article I wrote for our neighborhood newsletter in August of 2004 about a very special day. 

My Mom and I love going out to lunch together. We have done this almost every week since I got married over 25 years ago. One particular week she picked where we were to go, but first she wanted us to stop by an old friend’s house. Her name was Mary. She explained that Mary was a writer and knowing my desire to one day write a book about the life of my grandmother, she wanted us to meet. I was happy to go, but not sure about meeting her friend. Sometimes arranged meetings such as this don’t go over the way intended. I had no idea what was about to happen.

My Mom grew up in Clermont, a bedroom community to the west of Orlando, where everyone knows everyone else. Even though this town is changing rapidly, somehow Mary’s house had avoided any change. As we pulled into her dirt driveway, I felt as though I was leaving the year 2004 behind. Suddenly, I found myself entering a strange new, but old world–my mother’s childhood. Mary met us at her squeaky screen door, which led us from her clapboard porch to a dimly lit paneled living room. There her husband stood, cane in hand, with a smile large enough to make any stranger feel like family. His handshake indicated confidence. I liked them both immediately.

Mary quickly led us up the wooden stairs to her office. As we sat among her treasures, books from every subject, age and size, I felt as if I was sitting inside her personal journal. In this room was Mary’s life, and she had gladly opened up her volumes to share with me her love for writing. I was deeply affected.

As I listened to two old friends reminisce, I realized that I was privileged to see my mom from a completely different perspective. Here sat, not my mom, but a little girl and her best friend talking of how they used to play in this very room. Mom mentioned how she would always run to this room first, because she loved the packed toy chest that used to sit below the window where Mary’s computer was now located. Her face revealed the joy this moment was bringing to her. Hearing them talk, I could actually see them in their childhood finding pleasure in the simple things of life. I was reminded of how quickly time passes. As they spoke of their lives 75 years ago, it was as if only days had passed, not decades.

I’m so glad I had this moment to glimpse into the past, for this is the stuff of which books are made. Mary helped me in my quest for capturing my grandmother’s story more than she’ll ever know; she introduced me to her youngest daughter, my mom.

Moments like these are rarely planned. They usually happen upon us when we least expect them, and we fail to remember all we heard because we weren’t giving the moment our full attention. I can remember this day with my mom as if it were yesterday. I never saw Mary and her husband again, so I am all the more grateful to God for giving me this time for Mom to show me a very special slice of her life.

This leads to our next question to ask an older member of your family:

Question #8 – Who was your closest childhood friend and what did you enjoy doing together?

Note: My mom’s friend is a famous writer of children’s books. Her name is Mary Rose Pearson, and you can check out her books HERE.

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This is post #8 in the challenge to post everyday in April.

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Discovering The Good

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Today we are going to the wedding of one of our best friends’ daughter. It has been a busy week decorating, cooking, hugging, laughing and remembering. This wedding will make our friends empty nesters and a new season of life will begin for them. Change is hard, but it is also good. Oftentimes we don’t discover the good until we’ve learned to accept the changes with thankfulness.

When we have life changing moments like these we learn valuable lessons from which those who are coming behind us can glean. This brings us to today’s question:

Question #5

What was a life-changing moment you experienced and how did you handle the changes?

Won’t you take time this weekend to ask someone in your family the answer to this question. Or, you can answer the question yourself.

 

“To our children, we give two things, one is roots, the other is wings.”

 

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I am taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post every day in April.
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Tell It To Your Children and Your Children’s Children

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Photo Credit: Pam, The Nomad blog

Photo Credit: Pam, The Nomad blog

A hundred years ago, before radio or television was invented, families sat around after dinner telling stories from their experiences. My Mom knew much of her family history simply by listening to the stories over and over again as told by her parents and grandparents. What a great way to tell their children and grand-children about life and what they had learned along the way.

But families don’t do this so much anymore. Of course, there are those who are intentional and do this on a regular basis (click the picture above to hear about one family who is intentional). But to those who are more comfortable clicking the “on” button on the remote than you are waiting in the silence while someone thinks how to answer a question, please give this month’s challenge a try. You never know what treasures of history are waiting to be discovered and how it might affect you. And most likely you will laugh when you hear the stories told in a way that makes it unforgettable.

Why is it that when we look back to when we were younger the days seemed better and life seemed easier? But was it really? Or are we simply choosing to remember the parts we liked or the parts we can make sense of? One thing is certain, we can learn from our past as well as the past of those who have gone before us. Most are willing to talk about it because the time and distance has made the story easier to discuss. This brings us to our next question that I would like to hear how you would answer this question, as well as encourage you to ask someone in your family whom you don’t already know the answer they would give.

Question #5

What did you love most about where you grew up? 

 

“Generations pass like leaves fall from our family tree. Each season new life blossoms and grows benefiting from the strength and experience of those who went before.”

Author: Heidi Swapp

 

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I am taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post every day in April.
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If Tombstones Could Talk

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I have many interesting stories about my ancestors:

  • I have a great-grandfather who drowned in the Misssissippi River while returning on a barge from delivering a herd of cattle up the river. There was always a question of foul-play, but no charges were ever filed.
  • My paternal grandfather was a soloist at his church in Rhode Island, Roger Williams’ Baptist Church. One Sunday night after singing a solo, he returned to his spot in the choir. Before the end of the service he had a massive heart attack. It had always been his wish to die singing, and he did.
  • My great-grandmother, Sarah (Grace’s Mother) died in the Great Flu epidemic of 1918. (If you’re a Downton Abbey fan, it was the same epidemic that took the life of Matthew’s fiance.) She had been visiting her sick daughter’s home and became ill herself while she was there. Once she recovered, her husband Frank came to pick her up. The rocky wagon ride home caused a relapse from which she never recovered. I had the chance with my Mom a few years ago to visit the cemetery where Sarah Kirwin is buried. Seeing the place where Frank laid her to rest made her story seem so much more real to me.

I enjoy visiting cemeteries, not to be morbid, but to pause and consider the lives of those who once lived.

Remembering them gives them respect, and knowing their story is even better for it honors them in a way nothing else can. I wish tombstones had a sign explaining their personal story for all who pass by, like the Vietnam Memorial Wall in D.C. does. Reading the laminate pages left by loved ones brought those in memoriam to life. However, there are times when the headstone tells a story without words. Consider this headstone of a young disabled boy named Matthew. Such a powerful story that gives me chills, yet warms my heart. What a loving way for his parents to express their faith in God and love for their son.

headstone

  • Probably the most tragic story in our family was how my great-grandmother on my Dad’s side of the family died. She lived in Maine. One cold winter she was caring for her sick child holding him close by the hearth to keep warm when a spark from the fire caught her long dress on fire. She ran out of the house to protect her children as well as the house with the intent of rolling in the snow to extinguish the flames. Sadly the snow had iced over, making it impossible for her to escape. She died, leaving her husband a widower and several children without a mother.

These stories are sad, but I believe knowing them brings understanding to those who were affected by the sadness when it happened. Now for today’s question to help you discover your own story.

Question #4.

If your grandparents or great-grandparents are no longer alive, do you know when and how they died? Do you know where they’re buried? This may seem like a basic question, but one to which many don’t know the answer.

What about you? Do you have some interesting stories to share? If you don’t know, I encourage you take the time to find out–one question at a time.

“If you don’t recount your family history, it will be lost. Honor your own stories and tell them too.

The tales may not seem very important, but they are what binds families and makes each of us who we are. “

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I am taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post every day in April.
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Vintage Vows

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wagon

Our next question should be asked to the couple in your family who have been or was (if they aren’t both alive) married the longest. 

Question #3

When were you married and where? What is your fondest memory of the day?

My Mom told me that her grandparent’s were married on the back of a wagon on a dirt road in Kansas. How intriguing. When I was writing my book I had no way of knowing why they were married thus, so I had to imagine the reason. Below is an excerpt from my novel, Through The Eyes Of Grace, as Frank Kirwin (Grace’s Father) explains to Grace about their wedding day:

“So, you didn’t get married in a church?”

“No, like I said, Pa and Ma weren’t church-going people; they had their reasons.  As far as we were told they never saw the need for it.  When the time came for me to consider settling down and marrying your Mama, it was the middle of summer. That year our crops were late; normally the wheat was planted in the fall the previous year before the first frost of winter.  However, a swarm of grasshoppers kept us from planting the wheat on time; it was the worst outbreak Kansas had seen in years.  We ended up planting in early spring.  This delayed our harvest, which normally took place the 3rd week of June to the first part of July.  I knew I couldn’t be spared from helping the family with the harvest, but your Mama had just found out that the Smithton family was moving without much notice.  This caused her great anxiety, as her only alternative was to move back to Cherryvale.  She was not only losing her means, but her place to live as well. I knew she was the one I wanted to take care of and provide for, but the timing wasn’t the best as you can see.”

“What did you do?”

“I did what any normal man in love would do – I made a way!”

This thought startled me; Papa was passionately in love with Mama!  I adored romantic stories and had spent most of my early years dreaming of the day my own husband would sweep me off my feet and carry me away with him to live happily ever after.  But never had I looked at my parents as being in love.  They always seemed to tolerate each other.  I realized that Papa was still talking and I was missing it!

“…he would soon be passing by on his way to his next town…”

“Who would be passing by?” I interrupted.

“The circuit preacher of southern Kansas, haven’t you heard a word I’ve been saying?”

“I’m sorry, Papa, I guess I was daydreaming for a minute there.  Please, go on.  I really want to hear.”

“I had heard the Circuit Preacher who had spent the week in town would be leaving for his next stop early Saturday morning.  His route was to take Dr. Long’s Lane on his way to Independence in order to preach Sunday services there the next day.  It was the perfect solution to my dilemma, since our farm ran alongside Dr. Long’s Lane!  We could get married quickly without having to leave the farm.  I made all the arrangements for Sarah, family and friends to be at our house early on Saturday, July 7th.

“It was already a scorcher that day, even at 8 a.m.  We all gathered ‘round under the shade of our walnut trees waiting for the good preacher to pass by.  Not even an hour had passed when we saw his wagon appear on the horizon, and it was a sight to behold, indeed!  Sarah couldn’t believe that this was to be our wedding day; it was really happening, and her face shone like the morning sun.  She would finally have a home and a family of her own.  I was prouder than a peacock to provide for her.”

“So you were married right there on the road?”

“Well, I wish you could have seen the preacher’s face as his wagon approached our family gathering.  In those days a lone traveler, even a preacher, was wary of strangers waiting on the road.  We quickly made our request known, and he was obviously relieved and much obliged.  It was decided that the back of his wagon would make the perfect stage allowing our marriage to be witnessed by all present.  I pledged my vows to your Mama that day from the back of a humble wagon.  We saw it as a symbol of our journey beginning as man and wife.”

I want to encourage those who don’t have relatives to ask these questions, to use these as a springboard to record your own answers for those who will be following after you. What a rich treasure to leave our grandchildren and beyond. And please won’t you share what you discover in the comments below?

“Do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and your children’s children.”

Deuteronomy 4:9
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We are taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post every day in April.
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What Makes A Family Heirloom Special?

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Photo Credit: Star Shine Chic blog

Photo Credit: Star Shine Chic blog

I believe the answer to this question is simple–What makes a family heirloom special is the story that goes with it. Now some may say it’s the value of the piece, and that’s true, I suppose. But I’ve found that the items I’ve been given are much more meaningful to me if I know the story behind them.

Question #2

What is the oldest family heirloom you own, and what is the story behind it?

My Mom passed away in December, and we have spent most of this year cleaning out her home and sorting through her stuff. We found things we didn’t know she had, special things, beautiful things, but without a story behind them–they are just things. However, a few of her older items had little notes attached to them letting us know a bit of where it came from and to whom it belonged.

The oldest item also happens to be my favorite.

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It’s a little  porcelain tea cup that has a red stamp on the bottom stating it was made in Germany. I know it went through the fire at my grandparents home back in the early sixties because the outside is speckled as if the smoke was glazed into the cup. But what makes this cup so special is the information written on the label my Mom placed on the inside.

It says, ” Sarah Kirwin gave to daughter, Grace Oswalt, when 12 years old.”

Cup 1

That means this cup was made around 1900, which means it is the oldest thing I own. Grace Stella turned twelve in March of 1901. I found one like it on an Antique Appraisers website. They’re selling one without the smoke marks for only $7.50, but this tea cup is priceless to me!

“The measure of a woman’s character is not what she gets from her ancestors,

but what she leaves her descendants.”

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We are taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post every day in April.
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Now That’s A Great Question

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Photo Credit: Neodesha Chamber of Commerce

Photo Credit: Neodesha Chamber of Commerce

I am privileged to be taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday during the month of April. I must admit I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed with the thought, but I’m compelled to do it. I pray you will find my posts helpful as you take the time to discover your family’s story and hear a bit more about mine.

My goal is to provide a great question each day that you can use to ask your older family members, be it a parent, a grandparent, an aunt or an uncle. You can choose who to ask, hopefully it will be someone who has an interesting answer. Then, come back and share what you’ve discovered with us. It should be a fun and rewarding month as we purpose to uncover stories that may have never before been told.

Question #1

Where were you born, and what is your earliest memory?

oklahoma-landrush-1893My grandmother, Grace Stella Kirwin, was born in Neodesha, Kansas (pronounced Nee-oh’-deh-shay), located in the southeastern corner of the state, on March 2, 1889. Unfortunately, I can’t ask her what her earliest memory was, but I do know that when she was only 4 years old, her Uncle Charley took part in the Oklahoma Land Rush of 1893. He had a race horse named, Pigeon. I wish I knew why in the world he named his horse that–but one can only speculate. Not only was Pigeon a good horse, he was fast. Uncle Charley staked two claims of land for the family.

At precisely twelve noon on September 16, 1893 a cannon’s boom unleashed the largest land rush America ever saw. Carried by all kinds of transportation – horses, wagons, trains, bicycles or on foot – an estimated 100,000 raced to claim plots of land in an area of land in northern Oklahoma Territory known as the Cherokee Strip. There had been a number of previous land rushes in the Territory – but this was the big one. (Source: eyewitness to history website)

The claims ended up being in what is now called Noble County, Oklahoma. My Mom and I had the chance to visit the little town of Ceres, where we think the homestead was located.  It looks like their land is now owned by the power company and is underwater of a man-made lake.

So, what have you discovered about your relatives earliest memories? Won’t you join the conversation? 

“In all of us there is a hunger, marrow-deep, to know our heritage, to know who we are and where we came from.”

                                                                                                                   – Alex Haley
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We are taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post every day in April.
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30 Questions You May Not Know To Ask

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Photo Credit: Sorayanulliah blog

Photo Credit: Sorayanulliah blog

Everyone who has ever lived has one.

It separates us from all others and can often make us stand out in a crowd. But sadly many don’t know their’s, or if it even matters. I’m talking about your family’s story. I was privileged to have a mom who loved researching our family’s story. I could ask her any question and if she didn’t know the answer, she would go to work trying to find it. I loved that about her.

But I didn’t always. There was a time when I found our family history quite boring. Didn’t we all? You may still think this subject boring, but please don’t click away from this post just yet. 

Here’s the plan. Starting on Monday, April 1st, I’m going to take part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge to post one question each day for the entire month.

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It will be a probing question about your story. You may already know the answer to it, and if you do, I invite you to share it with me using the comment button. If you don’t know the answer to the day’s question, then ask someone in your family who may know it. Taking one question per day will make the process easy to do, even for the busiest among us.

I hope you’ll sign up for my blog, so every day you’ll get the daily question in your inbox. This will make the challenge easy for you to remember, and it will make me happy to have more followers–call me sentimental! 🙂

Finally, I want to share with you the following music video by Brandon Heath, titled Paul Brown Petty. Brandon is an excellent story teller whom I had the privilege of meeting and seeing live in concert last year in Gainesville, FL. This song is off of his latest album, Blue Mountain. Once you listen, I think you’ll understand why I chose to share it with you. Enjoy…

Scents of Life

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Driving down the road the other day I caught the scent of orange blossoms in the air, and immediately my mind went to another time and place.  I was running through the groves at my grandmother’s home in Clermont hoping to avoid being hit by my brother’s usually perfect aim, with rotten oranges!  While many of you grew up enjoying snowball fights, I was caught in a messier version where the same rules applied.  Unfortunately, I was almost always on the losing team.  What triggered those memories was nothing more than the sweet smell of orange blossoms.

Florida State Flower

Florida State Flower

As I child, I loved coming into the house for dinner and smelling my mother’s wonderful cooking.  Somehow I didn’t realize then just how much thought and time went into her preparations each evening.  All I knew was that I loved the result. Unless, of course, she was fixing something I didn’t like!

How often are our thoughts affected by the smells we encounter during the day?  For example, where does your mind go when you smell hot, buttered popcorn, chicken frying, or roses in bloom?  I’m sure you have your own list of favorite scents.  Remember the smell of mimeograph copies?  (Those of you under the age of 30 probably won’t know what I’m talking about!) Nothing evokes the memories of life at my elementary school than this.

With spring in the air fresh scents abound.  I hope you will be able to get outside to enjoy God’s creation as it comes back to life from such a long, cold winter.  Me? I’m going to work on greeting my husband tonight with some delicious smells from the kitchen.  That’s the best aromatherapy you can’t buy in a bottle!

What are the scents of your life? What memories do they evoke?

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Something To Ponder

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Photo Credit: jordipostales on Flickr

Photo Credit: jordipostales on Flickr

Today would have been Grace’s 124th birthday. And more people know her story and care about what happens to her next than she ever could have imagined. I hear it all the time…when are you going to write the next book? My plans are to begin soon. Since my mother passed away I have found much inspiration from her boxes of genealogy research papers. Here are few things I’ve found:

  • a picture of one of William and Grace’s sons when he was 2. She had it mounted under a clear paper weight. It is fading now, but I would love to try and get it restored.
  • Uncle Bud’s family bible complete with his handwriting marking the births, marriages and deaths of family members.
  • Grace’s journal of a trip she and William took out west.
  • A turquoise and silver indian belt.
  • Mary Elizabeth Ishmael’s crystal candy dish.
  • A tiny porcelain cup that Sarah Kirwin gave to Grace when she was 12.

It has been exciting to discover these items, but it comes with such sadness. I can no longer call my mom for answers to questions I have. I’m on my own when it comes to writing book two. It won’t be the same. I will miss Mom with each page I write, but knowing she read and enjoyed Through The Eyes Of Grace before she passed away thrills my heart! And to think…she’s in Heaven with my grandmother telling her all about it.

Now that is something to ponder, isn’t it?