Category Archives: Family Holidays

Long-Distance Family

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We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing

Today is 24 days of posts in November. I’m amazed I’ve made it this far!

Nikki asked a really good question about celebrating the holidays.

“I have been thinking about the differences in holiday celebrations now compared to when I was a kid. Our family isn’t quite as close-knit — everyone in my generation has moved away whereas my parents lived near their parents so we could all gather for the holidays. Have you noticed the same in your family?”

In my generation most of us stayed close to our parents, so holidays were always a big event.

Our children all moved away after they were married. Some it took years and our last one moved when she got married. All three living in different states from us.

I never considered this would happen.

When our daughter moved to GA with two of our grandchildren ages almost 4 and almost 2 in nearly killed me. I didn’t see this coming and my heart was broken.

I had well-meaning friends who said things like, “At least you are close enough to drive there and see them.” This was like pouring salt in my wounded heart.

But God! He had other plans.

My hope was that our family would share life together. We would be available to babysit so our kids could cultivate their relationship in the throes of raising a family. Holidays would be challenging in how we would seat everyone around the same table.

First our daughter, son-in-love and two grandchildren moved to GA. in 2011.

A year later my Mom died in 2012, leaving me feeling orphaned since my Dad died 9 years earlier.

Second, our son moved to Tennessee for his dream job in 2014. He took his sweet wife and three more of my precious grandchildren with him. While I was happy for the dreams they were pursuing, my heart was broken for what could have been. It haunted me daily.

Then Disney came out with a new movie and a hit song that was played everywhere. It had the three words I kept hearing God say to me. “Let it go!” I was afraid to let go of my desire for fear that my kids would never move back.

Finally, when our youngest daughter got married and moved to yet another state in 2018, I was undone. Finally I knew I had to let go of what I had imagined life would be to let my kids have the freedom to follow their dreams. I needed to be their biggest fan, not their strongest antagonist!

This made all the difference.

I was able to let go and trust that God was leading our kids exactly where he wanted them to be.

Our holidays change from year to year. We have enjoyed times where we are all together, but more times than not, we’ve had to adjust our expectations and enjoy the ones who were able to be with us.

Most times we are the ones who travel to see them because our kids and grandkids are a priority to us, even if it’s not convenient. I love them and anytime we are able to spend together.

FaceTime is an almost daily occurrence, and for this I am so very thankful. I think often of my grandmother, Grace, who moved away from her family at 16 years of age. There was no telephone, no internet, no cars even. Miles separated them and the only communication took weeks to receive.

As I write this we are with one third of our family for Thanksgiving. The other two-thirds are spending Thanksgiving with their in-laws. We are choosing to focus on being present and enjoying what is, rather than being sad over what could have been.

But God! He is the only reason I’m able to say this.

We almost lost two grandchildren in the last two years, and I lost my brother this year. The distance that separates us doesn’t seem as significant now.

As my youngest daughter recently wrote about raising an infant with special needs, “Every day is thanksgiving, and even though I can still struggle with a heart of complaint. I pray my perspective is always pointed to what God has blessed me with rather than what I think He has taken away.”

Yes, Perspective. it makes all the difference in how we move forward from grieving what could have been to what we’ve been given.

This is my 24th post in The Ultimate Blog Challenge to post everyday in November.

Four for a Dollar

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This post was originally shared on The Romantic Vineyard blog in November 2010. I thought it was worth sharing in the UBC on Day 19. Enjoy…

It was the week of Thanksgiving, and I was set on trying a new creamed corn recipe for the holiday.  Having a large extended family I was going to need a lot of corn – 24 ears to be exact.  I knew that the grocery stores would be too expensive for such a large quantity; so my husband and I headed towards a roadside vegetable stand.   I was sure that their candy corn, as it’s called, would help me duplicate the dish I had so enjoyed at a New Orleans’ restaurant, Commander’s Palace.

Off we went.  We stopped at the first stand we came to, and I scouted out the market to see if they had what I needed.  They did and at the right price, too; four ears for a dollar!  My husband stayed in the car certain it would only take a moment to make my purchase.

I bagged my corn and took it to the man working the checkout counter.  He looked a bit odd, but seemed friendly enough.

“Hi!” I smiled as I placed my corn on the table in front of him.  “I have 24 ears of corn in the bags.”

He looked at me while figuring my total in his head, “That’ll be $21!”

“$21? The sign said that the corn is four ears for a dollar!”

“That’s right – $21.”  He said with a toothless grin.

I knew he just wasn’t thinking, so I attempted to help him with his figuring.  “The sign says four ears for a dollar – that’s eight ears for two dollars, twelve ears for three dollars…”

I thought he would have stopped me by this point, but it was obvious by the unbelieving smirk on his face that he still wasn’t getting it.

I continued, “sixteen ears for four dollars, twenty ears for five dollars and twenty-four ears for six dollars!”

“Naw! You’re tryin’ to cheat me!” was his reply.

I couldn’t believe it!  Was he joking with me?  Was there a hidden camera somewhere? He was serious and so convinced in his mind to the point that he wasn’t going to sell me the corn!

I asked, while looking around, “Is there anyone else that works here?”

Before he could answer me I saw a couple of men sitting at the far end of the stand. I walked up to them and asked if they worked there.

The owner replied, “Is he giving you a hard time, darlin’?”

“Well, he’s trying to sell me 24 ears of corn for $21.” I still couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

“Man, he hit his head yesterday and must’ve hurt himself worse than I thought.  Come with me!”

I followed him as he approached the checkout counter.  “Mac, I want you to sell this lady her corn for $6, ya hear?”

He took my corn from under the counter and still hesitated in taking my money.  He kept staring suspiciously at me, and when his boss had walked away he said under his breath, “You must’ve really winked your eye at him!”

With that I took my bag of corn before he could grab it from me and quickly got in the car.
As I closed the door and took an exasperated breath, my husband said, “What took you so long?”

“You won’t believe it…”

Do you have an unbelievable story to tell?

Happy Birthday, Grace

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Yesterday would have been my grandmother’s 129th birthday, so I’m hosting a cousins tea today. It’s themed after all her favorite things and to say excited is a huge understatement.

It would make her smile to see us gathered together around my table today having tea and biscuits.

She loved Spring probably because she loved gardening. We used to be commissioned to gather those ugly giant grasshoppers off her plants and throw them in a coffee can of turpentine. I never did it. I was afraid of a bug big enough to look me in the eyes. Still am!

She made the best chili too. You can find her recipe in the Oklahoma Recipes tab above.

The only thing missing from today’s celebration will be the cousins who couldn’t be here and of course, Grace. Maybe the Lord will let her have a peek and once again give thanks for the blessing of family.

Happy Spring from my table to yours!

Do You Remember?

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<img src="https://debigraywalter.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/img_0262.jpg?w=560" class="size-large wp-image-604" width="560" height="446" alt="Our oldest granddaughters building their first snowman. Our oldest granddaughters building their first snowman. 

This week we’re celebrating Thanksgiving at our cabin in North Carolina. We’re having fun, but missing our daughter and her family. They’ve been battling lots of health issues and aren’t sure if they’ll make it here at all. Disappointing to say the least.

But the rest of us are having fun. We’re expecting a White Thanksgiving in Banner Elk, NC, which is a first for all of us Florida natives. 🙂

One thing I’ve purchased to have at our cabin is an acrylic box of cards with questions called, Table Topics, to use to get conversation going in a group setting. The company offers all sorts of themes, and the one I have is for Family Gatherings. Our oldest granddaughter can read now, and she has had a blast asking us questions on all sorts of topics. One in particular that got me thinking was  this question:

What did your grandparents do for you that you loved?

My grandparents owned 32 acres of orange groves when I was growing up, and I loved everything about life at their home. We would have rotten orange fights, eat ripened fruit from the trees, play hide and go seek after dark and the list goes on. It was  fun place to grow up.

That’s what holidays are made of, making memories that your children will remember fondly when they’re grown up.

What traditions have you established that will be remembered for a lifetime?

UPDATE: Our daughter and her family surprised us two days before Thanksgiving and arrived safe and sound. Shortly after it began snowing, and it hasn’t stopped yet. I have a feeling this is one Thanksgiving even the littlest among us will remember. 🙂 Happy Thanksgiving from our home to yours!

 

My Birthday Is Special…

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…because today starts my first ever book sale!

Through The Eyes Of Grace Cover

I’m very excited to tell you that if you order my book through my publisher: CertaPublishing.com or through Amazon.com you will receive a 20% discount starting today through the end of July! All you have to do is use the coupon code – Grace20 – when checking out. It’s that simple! If you’ve already purchased a copy, now is a great time to purchase copies for Christmas presents. It’s closer than you think, and wouldn’t it be nice to have a few gifts already checked off your list–in July?

Also, you may not know that I have a Facebook page and would love it if you clicked over and “liked” it. I’m hosting a birthday giveaway for all those who follow me–but you’ll have to go there to find out how to enter.  🙂

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Thank you for helping to make my birthday special. 

Happy Mother’s Day

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My Mom is no longer here for me to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. So to honor her, I decided to make a special Pinterest Board sharing photos, blog posts and songs of all the things she taught me.  I miss her so much, but I’m grateful for the legacy she left behind. Click the photo below to see it. Make the most of Mother’s Day this year by honoring all the Moms who have touched your life.

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Celebrating The Moments That Change Us Forever

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There are a few things that happen in the span of your lifetime that changes it forever.

Today represents one of those times for me. It was 32 years ago that I became a mom. My son, Jason Thomas Walter, was born at 7:19a. after a short labor and delivery. I never knew such love. Looking at his tiny hands and feet, I was witnessing a miracle. Our love had become life weighing 7 lbs. 1.5 ozs and 21.5 inches long. I couldn’t contain the love I felt for this tiny person.

When Tom and I brought him home we were young and clueless as to how to best care for a newborn. But we learned, and our love for him and each other grew. I’ll never forget waking in the night just to be sure he was still breathing. Thankfully, he was.

Now our son stands 6′ 2″ tall and has looked down at me for nearly two decades. He has a wife whom we adore and three beautiful children. He has followed in my footsteps in loving words more than numbers. He is a copy-editor for Dave Ramsey’s organization, and it has made this home-schooling mama quite proud. All those years of dissecting sentence structures paid off. Not only is he good at it, he loves it.

On days like these I look back and remember highlights. I remember…

  • Taking him to work with me the first 10 months of his life.
  • When he got an upper-respiratory infection at 10 months and had to be hospitalized.
  • When we took him snow skiing, and he wanted to take something special to his 3-year-old sister because she wasn’t old enough to ski.
  • When he broke his leg that same day snow skiing. We bought him the special gift he wanted to get for Tracy.
  • His love for cars and playing crash on our kitchen floor.
  • His uncanny ability to rig his room with string, so he’d know when someone opened his door.
  • His insatiable love for reading.
  • His ability to remember whatever he read.
  • His love for history.
  • His love for his grandparents.
  • When he bought me my favorite candy bar when I worked in the office at his high school and was having a bad day.
  • When he graduated from high school and we thought my dad was having a heart attack the moment they called his name.
  • When he told us he had found the girl he wanted to marry and how she reminded him of me.
  • When he walked me down the aisle on his wedding day knowing he would never call our home, “home” again.
  • When he brought out his first baby for us to meet in the waiting room.
  • When after 9 years of going to college part-time, he graduated and looked back at us from the sea of graduates with that infectious smile of his.
  • When I get texts or phone calls just to say, “I love you.”

There is a saying that goes, “A son is your son ’til he takes a wife, a daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life.” But this isn’t true in our family. Our daughter-in-love, as we like to call her, has become family. So much so that it feels as if she has always been a part of us.

Four generations of Walter men. From l to r: Jason, Richard (Grandpa), Vito, Tom

Four generations of Walter men. From l to r: Jason, Richard (Grandpa), Vito, Tom

 

I am grateful to God for Jason, as I am for each of my three children. I am grateful for a husband who loves them as much as I do. And I am grateful our love continues to grow and strengthen as our boundaries expand.

Jason, I pray today you sense God’s amazing love for you and that you are confident of this very thing…He who began a good work in you will complete it until Christ comes again. I am blessed to have you call me MOM.

Happy Birthday!

 

 

Orange Groves, Stuffed Celery Sticks and Corn-Bread Stuffing–Thanksgiving Memories

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Vintage Postcard from www.cardcow.com Vintage Postcard from http://www.cardcow.com

Do you remember your Thanksgiving celebrations as a child? I do. Every year we would take the long drive through the country from Orlando to my grandmother’s home in Clermont. In the 60’s Highway 50 was only two-laned and was lined on both sides with orange groves as far as the eye could see. As a kid I thought it was the most boring ride ever taking a whole 30 minutes! Now I would give anything to see those orange groves laden with fall fruit lined up in perfect rows like toy soldiers again. To be the first one in the car to see the Citrus Tower rising above the trees and yell, “I see the tower, I see the tower!” 🙂 To walk into Big Mama’s house and breathe in the aromas. To see all my first cousins and aunt busy in the kitchen helping prepare the family dinner. To take a bite into the crisp celery stalks stuffed with pimento cheese, the only thing we were allowed to eat before dinner. To play hide and go seek with my first cousins, once removed (yes, my Mom finally helped me understand how this works), in her orange groves behind her house. And to finally sit down together, all 25 of us, at one long table to thank God for another year of His blessings and faithfulness in our lives.

But those days are over. Many who sat at that table then, are now feasting at the Table of the Lord in Heaven. In fact this is my Mom’s first Thanksgiving in Heaven where she is reunited with my Dad and her Mama. Ah! To hear the laughter and stories being told there! This is my hope, to one day see and experience the glory of Heaven for myself, but until then, it’s my turn to make Thanksgiving memories for my children and grandchildren. To help them appreciate the reason we give thanks to God on this day each year. To build an excitement in celebrating the blessing it is to be together. To not let this day become Black Friday Eve, as some are trying to call it, but to give it the time and attention it deserves.

It’s good to ask yourself what parts of your current Thanksgiving celebrations will your children and grandchildren remember most when they’re grown? Then, go about creating those memories for them. This is the privilege of growing older–to participate in creating the memories of future generations.

I want to share with you Big Mama’s cornbread stuffing recipe. It’s not her original one, but Mom told me a couple of years ago that my stuffing tasted just like Mama’s. Now that was a compliment I received with a warm heart. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!